


I'll Be Home for Next Year

by Offbrand_poptarts



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Christmas, Everyone is crying always, Kenma is a blessing, Kuroo is also a blessing tbh, M/M, Plane Crash
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-12
Updated: 2016-06-12
Packaged: 2018-07-14 16:50:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7181120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Offbrand_poptarts/pseuds/Offbrand_poptarts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I have got no soul probably</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It was the morning of Christmas Eve. Oikawa was fiddling with the ornaments on their small Christmas tree even though they had decorated it nearly a month ago. He had been more fidgety than usual lately. There were candles burning, filling the apartment with the scent of 'apple cinnamon'. There were only a couple presents under the tree, because the other gifts the boys had bought were delivered at Christmas parties. One was for Iwaizumi, and one was for Oikawa.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"KUROO, GET OVER HERE! I THINK I FOUND THE PERFECT ONE!" 

"It's about time. Not to mention it's almost Christmas. It's almost like fate decided to drop it right in front of you just in time for some serious romance."

"Oh my god Kuroo. Shut up. That's so fucking cheesy!" Oikawa eyed the item in front of him. "It's perfect I love it."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He glanced under the tree at the box he'd spent hours wrapping. A whole roll of wrapping paper and seven YouTube tutorials later, he decided it looked perfect. He could hardly wait for Christmas Day. 

Iwaizumi was laid out on the couch, watching his boyfriend adjust lights and ribbons. He sighed loudly, putting his arms out. Oikawa didn't hear him. Iwaizumi sighed louder. Finally, the other boy turned his head. "Iwa-chan! You should've just used your words!"

He walked over to the couch, laughing, and laid next to his boyfriend. Iwaizumi wrapped the blanket he had over the two of them as he gently kissed Oikawa. 

The apartment was still as the two held each other in silence. This was a rare occurrence, so they both made the most of it while it lasted. Oikawa was about to drift off with his head on Iwaizumi's chest when he heard a phone ring. Iwaizumi reached over to the coffee table and grabbed his phone, trying not to disturb Oikawa too much. 

"Hello?

Yes sir. 

Yes sir, I understand.

At ten? Got it. 

I understand. I'll be there on time."

He hung up, checked the time, and sat his phone down again. He squeezed Oikawa and sat up on the couch. Oikawa followed suit. 

"What was that about?"

"Work. They need me to catch a flight at ten tonight to go to some meeting on Christmas. The ticket is paid for already-"

"Wait, did you say on Christmas? They didn't give you any warning before?? They can't just do that! That's not fair!"

"Yes they can, dumbass. If I get fired we won't be able to keep our apartment. I know that you love Christmas, but I can't just say no." 

Oikawa bit his tongue and held back the tears that were threatening to spill over his cheeks. He couldn't let Iwaizumi know how upset he was, that would ruin everything. They would have to have Christmas when Iwaizumi came home. 

"Okay. What time are you going to be leaving the house?"

"Well, we don't live that close to the airport but... I think I can stand to stay with you a little bit longer. They've got my ticket taken care of and everything. All I have to do is meet my people there." He pulled Oikawa back down on the couch. "I'll be home for next year, I promise." 

"And we can celebrate when you come home?"

"Of course."

They spent about an hour napping on the couch together. Iwaizumi heard the soft snoring coming from his boyfriend, but he had to leave soon. He slowly inched away from the sleeping Oikawa, putting extra blankets over him and placing a kiss to his forehead. "I love you, and I'll hurry home."

He gently padded to their room, changing into nicer clothes and grabbing his emergency overnight bag from the top of the closet. He slipped out of the door without a sound, but Oikawa stirred ever so slightly. His eyes barely opened, watching the door close. He wanted to tell Iwaizumi that he loved him, but he had already started silently crying.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know how to summarize this chapter. I have no excuses.

Oikawa drifted back to sleep and didn't wake up until the next morning. Today was supposed to be a special day, but he was all alone. He sat down on the floor by the gifts under the tree, wondering what Iwaizumi had gotten him. I'll find out when he gets home, he thought as he batted one of the ornaments. I wonder if he'd answer his phone. Oikawa picked up his cellphone and found Iwaizumi in his contacts. It went straight to voicemail. This wasn't the same fake sounding message as usual, though.

"I'm sorry, I can't pick up my phone right now. Oikawa, I can tell that this is hard for you, but I'll be home for next year."

When it ended, Oikawa decided to leave a message. 

"Ya~hoo, Iwa-chan. Merry Christmas! I can't wait for you to come home! Call me when you get this? I love you!~" He was about to put his phone back down when it chirped. Displayed on the screen was a text from kuroo. 

>> Sooooo, has Iwaizumi opened his gift yet? ;)

>>No. He had to go on a work trip. We're having Christmas when he gets home. 

>> No way! You're alone? That's fucked up. Kenma and I are on our way. 

Oikawa smiled down at the screen. He then remembered that he was only in his boxers, so he rushed to throw on an oversized Christmas sweater and sweatpants. Not much later, there was a knock on the door. Of course, Oikawa didn't have time to answer it before Kuroo and Kenma just walked on in. Kuroo was wearing a Santa hat and Kenma looked peeved to be wearing felt reindeer antlers on a headband, holding a thick blanket around his shoulders. Oikawa could tell that Kuroo was attempting to make him feel better with the festive headgear. 

"Nice hats~" Oikawa slightly laughed. It didn't need to be said out loud for it to be understood; he was grateful for them spending their day making sure he wasn't lonely. 

"Thanks. We brought you one, too!" Kuroo stuck a pair of antlers on Oikawa's head. They had little colorful lights on them. "So, have you called Iwaizumi?"

"I tried, but his phone is off. He's probably exhausted anyway, since he was on a plane a lot of the night."

"Aw, that sucks man. At least this'll all be worth it when he gets home." Kuroo smirked at the box under the tree. 

"God, I hope so! I'm not sure what I'll do if he doesn't want it."

"You know that won't happen."

Kenma finally chimed in. "Are we going to do anything or are we just going to stand in the living room? Normally I wouldn't complain, but Kuroo dragged me out of the apartment before I could even grab my phone off the table." 

Oikawa laughed and started walking towards the kitchen. "I think we have the stuff to make cookies. That's a Christmas-y thing right? But we have to save some for Iwa-chan."

Kuroo agreed, Kenma trailing behind him. Kuroo started playing Christmas music at the loudest volume his phone would allow, which wasn't loud enough if his amusingly unnecessary frustration was anything to judge by. They all helped gather the needed cookie-making supplies and got to mixing the dough, spilling things and making messes the whole time. None of them claimed to be the best at baking, although they tried their best. When it came time to cut the cookie dough, Oikawa pulled out some cheap cookie cutters shaped like Christmas trees and stars and candy canes. He also decided to use a knife to cut out one shaped like a tear drop. He claimed it was going to be an alien, and it was going to be his to eat. If anyone else wanted one they'd have to make their own. 

While they waited for the cookies to bake, the three sat on the couch and shared stories about past Christmases. Kenma was curled into Kuroo's side, still wrapped in his blanket as though he were freezing. Oikawa took a selfie with the two in the background, holding up a peace sign as Kuroo and Kenma smiled at the camera. He texted it to Iwaizumi for him to see as soon as he was finished with work. He sent it with the caption "Thinking of you, Iwa-chan! Hurry home!" 

The oven timer beeped, spurring the boys to end their conversation and go finish the cookies. As soon as they cooled enough, they set to work frosting them. Oikawa somehow ended up with a bit of green frosting on his nose while he was finishing his alien cookie. He took this as the perfect selfie opportunity and prepared to text another photo to Iwaizumi. He snapped a photo of him with his tongue out, grinning, while Kuroo and Kenma were frosting in the background. Kuroo had noticed the phone a bit too late, moving to strike a pose. It ended up being a  hilariously awful picture of him. Laughing, Oikawa sent it, saying in the caption that he's saving some cookies for Iwaizumi. 

The boys set aside several of the treats, taking the rest to the couch where they sat eating and laughing, falling snow visible through the slightly fogged window. Oikawa was still getting increasingly anxious about his gift to Iwaizumi. Kuroo insisted there was no reason to worry, and that he'd see when his boyfriend got home. Oikawa was pretty sure he was supposed to be back the next day, possibly the one after that, but he couldn't call for confirmation because Iwaizumi's phone was still off. This unsureness wasn't helping Oikawa's nervousness. 

As the day drew to a close, Oikawa's guests said their goodbyes and went back to their own home. Iwaizumi had yet to call or text back, so Oikawa went back to their room and put his phone down on the bedside table. He curled into the comforter and shut his eyes, ready to wake up at a moment's notice. 

Meanwhile, Iwaizumi had gotten out of his meeting and was in a rush to get home. He was in such a hurry that he hadn't checked Oikawa's messages yet, instead deciding to open the photos while he was on the way. After his flight had been in the air for a while, he put in headphones and listened to Oikawa's voicemail. He was happy that his boyfriend had heard his message. He hadn't wanted to wake him up by calling or texting him, so he had hoped that the other would attempt a call once he had gotten up on his own. Iwaizumi then began to look through the photos Oikawa had sent. Seeing the photo of the boys baking cookies brought a smile to his face. What had he ever done to deserve such an amazing boyfriend? Of course he didn't know and he would never ask it aloud. He decided he'd call Oikawa as soon as he landed. It wouldn't be that far away anyway, but it was late and he didn't want to wake up Oikawa if he had gone to sleep until it was necessary. 

Finally, Iwaizumi heard the wheels touch the runway. He was excitedly awaiting his return to Oikawa when he realized something was wrong. The plane wasn't slowing down. Rather, it seemed to be speeding up. As other passengers began to scream, Iwaizumi's blood drained from his face. The first thing he did was open the last selfie that Oikawa had sent, the one with the green blob on his adorable nose. He hurriedly put in earbuds and called his boyfriend, keeping the photo open and the call in the background. The plane shivered and shook, attempting to get back into the air. It jolted to the side, nearly knocking the phone out of his hands. The call was answered after the second ring. 

"Ya~hoo, Iwa-chan! You're coming home soon right? Hey, what's that noise?" The world sped by outside the window of the plane. 

"It's nothing. You..." Iwaizumi hid a sob. "You know I love you? I love you so much, Tooru."

"Iwaizumi?? Iwaizumi, I hear screaming! What's goi-"

"Tell me about your day. You saved me cookies right? Tell me about that." The plane slid. It slid for a long time, gluing Iwaizumi to the side of the plane as he struggled to keep hold on his phone. Tears were flowing down his cheeks in an unending flood. 

"HAJIME! PLEASE TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON!"

"I really love you. You love me right?" The plane jumped slightly. Iwaizumi was practically yelling over the chaos. 

"I love you more than anything in the entire world! No, the univers-"

The call was abruptly cut short by an eardrum-shattering noise.


	3. Chapter 3

Oikawa was sobbing. His face was red and numb. He couldn't stop crying no matter how much he knew that he needed to calm down and think straight. Iwaizumi thought he was doing a good job of hiding his panic but Oikawa knew. He heard the screaming people and the screech of metal on metal and he heard the fiery explosion before the call ended. Iwaizumi could be dead, but Oikawa couldn't make himself just breathe and try to call Iwaizumi back, call Kuroo or Kenma, or check the news for a crash. He clutched the comforter on his and Iwaizumi's bed and tried not to throw up. He felt the bile rising in his throat. Leaning over the bed, he vomited Christmas cookies, hardly stopping the tears while he retched all over the floor. Oikawa was nearly too tired to pull himself back on to the bed all the way. He fell asleep that way eventually, vomit on the floor and tears staining his pillow and comforter. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kuroo was spread out on the couch, one arm hanging off the edge and one leg up over the back. He was flipping through channels before the local news took over the talk show he was uninterestedly listening to. The headline, Plane Crash at Narita International Airport, made his blood run cold. He shouted across the apartment. 

"Kenma! Where was Iwaizumi's business trip?!" The program listed where the plane was coming from and the number of people confirmed dead, but no names. 

"I don't know, Oikawa didn't tell us! Why?"

"Get in here!!"

Kenma stared at the screen with saucer eyes. The screen displayed photos of the devastation. "We have to go check on Oikawa."

Kuroo jumped up, calling Oikawa to see if maybe he was actually ok, but got no answer. Oikawa was still passed out on his bed. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They arrived at the apartment complex and ran to the door they needed. It was locked, but they knew where the spare key was hidden. "Oikawa?" Kuroo tried to sound gentle over his worry as he entered the space all but slowly. The two split up to find their friend. Kenma was the one who discovered him sleeping next to a puddle of puke, snot and tears coating his red face. He wrinkled his nose at the smell, calling Kuroo. Kuroo skidded around the corner and into the room, stopping at the sight before him. He and Kenma tried to gently wake him up. They placed hands on his shoulders, shaking slightly, and he barely opened his eyes. 

"Oikawa! Are you okay? Tell us what happened." Kenma had sent Kuroo to get a damp washcloth, quickly receiving it and using it to wipe off Oikawa's face while he gently asked for an explanation. Oikawa just burst into fresh tears. 

"Hey, hey. We need you to tell us what happened so we can help." They reasoned that he must have seen something other than the news, because it never said who exactly died and there had been a fair amount of survivors. Kuroo grabbed Oikawa's phone from the bedside table, typing in the password. He had observed Oikawa typing it in in the past even though he tried to keep him from doing so. Kuroo was so glad that he knew it now. There was a call from Iwaizumi the night before at the time of the crash. Kuroo almost dropped the phone. He angled the screen to show Kenma, who was still consoling. 

"Oikawa. I need you to tell us why Iwaizumi called you. Take deep breaths. Kuroo, I need you to calm down too so you can think. He's almost certainly dehydrated, look at him. Can you get him some water?" Kuroo's brain wasn't quite working at full capacity. He quickly grabbed a glass of water, also collecting the needed supplies to clean up vomit. Kenma took the water, helping Oikawa sit up and sip from the cup, while Kuroo scrubbed the floor. Finally, Oikawa stopped crying and shakily inhaled a long breath. He held it in for a while, choking as he held back another sob, before letting it out again. "I heard his plane explode." 

Kenma crawled onto the bed, putting a hand on his friend's shoulder. "I need you to explain in more detail." 

Kuroo finished cleaning, sitting on the other side of Oikawa and adjusting a clean blanket around him. 

"He called me last night. I heard everyone crying and screaming in the background and I heard him crying, too. There was loud screeching and he kept telling me that he loved me. The call just cut off after I heard the explosion noise. It got louder and louder until it almost broke my speaker and then it just ended." Kenma and Kuroo looked at each other in horror. 

"Okay, Oikawa, I'm going to tell you what led us to come here today alright?" Oikawa nodded his head, face scrunched up as he held in tears again. "The news was talking about a plane crash at our airport. It happened at the time that he called you. Only part of the plane exploded, because it broke apart on impact. Some people did survive, but everyone is in intensive care. The authorities are trying to identify everyone and they will be telling Iwaizumi's family if he is alive or not. You weren't married so you won't be on their priority list."

"Can we call the hospital and ask? Do you know what hospital the victims went to?" Oikawa hiccuped. 

"Kuroo? What hospital was it again?" Kuroo googled the hospital's number and called, putting it on speaker. 

"Hello, Narita Red Cross Hospital. How can I help you?"

Oikawa's voice sounded like a frog when he cut off Kuroo. "Is Iwaizumi Hajime a patient at your hospital?!" 

"One moment." Kuroo and Kenma took Oikawa's hands, everyone holding in a silent breath.


	4. Chapter 4

Everyone's hearts were racing. Oikawa thought he might pass out or throw up again, and Kuroo couldn't think at all. Kenma clutched onto Oikawa's hand and held his breath, knowing he would have to stay strong for him no matter what happened. Kuroo had let his mind slip and Kenma knew he had to keep his composure, for their sake.

The person on the phone spoke up again. "Yes, he is currently a patient in our hospital." Oikawa nearly screamed.

"Are visitors allowed?" Kenma cut Oikawa off and squeezed his hand. 

"He is in very unstable condition, but it seems that visitors are allowed-" The person on the phone seemed to refrain from explaining further. "Visiting hours are from 9am to 10pm. Feel free to stop by."

Kenma responded with a "Thank you for your help!" before Oikawa jumped out of the bed and towards the door. 

"Oikawa! Put on a clean shirt, at least! And don't expect me to let you drive us there. That'll be my job." Kuroo grabbed him by the back of the shirt and pulled him back towards his closet. "Do you really think they'll let you in the hospital with a vomit-stained shirt on?"

"I have to find Iwaizumi! I have to find out if he's okay!!" Oikawa ran out of his room while pulling on a shirt. 

Kuroo and Kenma chased him out the door and down to the car, taking off towards the hospital in no time flat. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once they arrived the group broke into a dead sprint towards the door. Oikawa almost crashed into the front desk. "What room is Iwaizumi Hajime in? I have to find him! I have to see if he's okay!!" 

"Sir, I need you to take a deep breath."

Kenma and Kuroo caught up and put their arms around Oikawa, who had begun to cry again. 

"Here you go. Just a warning, there are probably a lot of people in this room judging by the amount of people that have come through here today." The receptionist handed over a sticky note with a room number written on it. 

Oikawa took off again and Kenma was sure to say thank you before dashing to keep up. The three eventually found their way up to Iwaizumi's room, knocking on the closed door before worriedly entering. The sight before them caused them all to cry once more. Almost the entirety of Iwaizumi's family was packed into the tiny room, most of them holding back sobs. Oikawa pushed through them to see a horribly injured Iwaizumi. His eyes were closed and most of him was bandaged up. He was hooked up to countless machines. There was a nurse tending to the IVs and answering questions. Kuroo put a comforting arm around Oikawa. 

"When's he gonna wake up? When can I talk to him?" Oikawa hiccuped. 

"Sir, he hasn't been conscious since the crash. We aren't sure if he's going to wake up at all. I'm sorry. It looks very bad, and I politely recommend you say your goodbyes just in case." Oikawa's heart fell. He looked at Iwaizumi's mom with tears in his eyes. She got the message and ushered the family out of the room. The nurse followed suit. Kuroo and Kenma took each other's hand and left as well, telling Oikawa they'll be right outside if he needs them. 

Oikawa sat on a chair next to the hospital bed, the sound of Iwaizumi's heart beat monitor filling the room. 

"Remember that time in college when I got to visit you, we both got really drunk at a party, and you fell off a table? And I thought you were gonna die! Heh. Then you got up and smacked me in the back of the head for being a dumbass. And I kissed you and told you never to scare me like that ever again and you said to stop being an idiot because you would never die from something that dumb." He blinked and tears poured down his cheeks and dropped from his jaw. "Well? I'm waiting, Iwa-chan. I'm being a dumbass, get up! What am I gonna do without you? I'll sleep in all day and watch shitty movies and never get anything done, you know. And who will go look at stars with me? Who's gonna make me rewatch every Godzilla movie on a monthly basis? Who am I gonna give your Christmas present to? I spent months picking it out. You were supposed to open it and cry and I was supposed to kiss you to the ground and you were supposed to not mind. We were going to have the best Christmas ever. Don't just leave me hanging, Iwa-chan!" He collapsed over Iwaizumi's chest, sobbing. "I'm supposed to say goodbye now, but I just can't. You wouldn't let this be goodbye, would you? So... I guess I'll see you when you get home for next year. I love you more than life itself and I'll never find another you, Iwaizumi Hajime. If I ever go a single day without thinking about you, it'll be the day I die." He placed a kiss on Iwaizumi's sleeping face and stepped towards the door. He peeked his head out and opened it back up for Kuroo, Kenma, and a few of Iwaizumi's family members who stayed. 

"I'm not giving up on him yet." Oikawa turned to Kuroo. 

"You've never been the type to give up. Especially not on your heart." He smiled at Kenma. The three stayed in that hospital room for hours. The nurse eventually had to usher them out. They all went back to Kuroo and Kenma's, the two not wanting to leave Oikawa alone in an apartment filled with reminders of the ordeal they were all going through.


	5. Chapter 5

The three were silent during the ride home. Kuroo had his eyes focused on the road ahead. Kenma stared at his hands clasped in his lap, finally taking time to process the day. Oikawa had his cheek rested on his hand, watching the streetlights pass by. He felt envy for the moths swarming them. 

They pulled into Kenma and Kuroo's apartment complex and silently got out of the car. Oikawa thought about the cookies that were still on his counter as he ascended the stairs to his friends' door. He wanted to cry, but he was out of tears. Instead, his heart just continued to break in silence. His love was still alive as far as he knew, and he couldn't do a single thing to help him. The feeling of helplessness was swallowing him whole. 

Kuroo unlocked the door and held it open. Everyone sat down their stuff and Kenma ran off to grab a blanket and pillow for his guest. 

Kuroo gestured to the living room. "We don't have a spare bedroom, so I hope you don't mind the couch. You can watch TV though, and whatever we have in the fridge is yours, too. You know where the bathroom is. Don't worry about setting an alarm, we'll get you up in the morning so we can take you back to the hospital." He gently smiled and patted his friend on the shoulder. Kenma came scurrying back in and went to put the pillow and blanket out on the couch. 

"Are you gonna be okay? I can stay out here on the chair by the couch if you need. I fall asleep there sometimes anyway, so it would be no big deal." Kenma smoothed out the blanket as he spoke. 

"I'll be fine. You don't have to go any further out of your way for me." Mostly, Oikawa just thought that Kenma should spend every night with Kuroo that he could. Something he recently came to understand was that people didn't last forever. "Thank you guys for inviting me to stay here."

"It's no problem. We're here for you, don't forget that. Oh! Be right back!" Kuroo took off and brought Oikawa back a tshirt and pair of sweatpants. "They might be a little too long but you can wear these until we have a chance to get you some of your own clothes." 

"These pants say 'Nekoma' on them." Oikawa laughed, even if it was a little forced. 

"Yeah, most of my sweatpants do." Kuroo chuckled. "But hey, they could say 'Shiratorizawa'!" 

Oikawas laugh was less forced this time. "Oh god no, I'd take these over THAT any day." 

"Okay, we'll head off to bed then. Goodnight!" He turned to their bedroom door. 

"If you need us for anything, don't hesitate to wake either of us up. Goodnight," Kenma called as he also headed to their room. 

Oikawa quickly changed clothes and curled into the blanket. If felt as though the darkness was consuming him. Every time he heard a vehicle pass or a cricket chirp, he felt anger that they didn't have to suffer through what he did. Who got to choose who had to go through this? Why did it have to be Iwaizumi? Why couldn't it have just been some random plane, in some other place? Why couldn't he and Iwaizumi have just heard about it on the news and casually said "oh no, how awful" and gone about their day? How did their lives manage to follow the exact track that would lead to this hell? Every argument that they ever had flowed through Oikawa's head. Even stuff as stupid as who had to go to the store and buy eggs. Oikawa was swamped with regret for every time he said anything mean to Iwaizumi since the day they met. "Asshole." "Stubborn dick." "Cold." "Distant." "Pain in the ass." None of those things were even remotely true. They were only said out of frustration. Somewhere, he knew that Iwaizumi knew this. He knew that he never thought Oikawa meant any of it. They never had an argument serious enough to make either of them question that. But as Oikawa lay on a couch in the middle of the night, his mind was spinning lies in its distress. What if Iwaizumi was seriously hurt by his words? What if he still remembered every bad thing Oikawa had ever said? What if those fights altered the way he felt for Oikawa? What if Oikawa really did never have a chance to apologize and tell Iwaizumi everything he loved about him and promise never to fight with him ever again? He felt vomit coming up again, rushing to the bathroom before it hit the floor this time. Kuroo was too deeply asleep already, but Kenma heard him through the thin walls of the apartment and hopped out of bed.

"Oikawa! I'm here, I'm going to go get you some water." He ran off to the kitchen and got back about the time that Oikawa was finished. "Here, drink this- slowly! I'll come back and sleep on the chair." He gently took his friends arm and guided him back to the couch. He settled into the armchair with a thick blanket and laid his head on the arm, where he could keep tabs on Oikawa. "Y'know, I can't promise everything is going to be okay, but I can promise I- we- won't leave your side as long as you need us. If there's one thing I learned from Kuroo, it's that you can't leave a member of your team behind." He spoke softly. 

Oikawa looked over at him. "I don't know what I could have possibly done to deserve friends like you."

"Don't worry about that too much. I wonder the same thing every day." He shut his eyes. "Get some rest, you'll need energy to get up and visit Iwaizumi."

"Okay. Goodnight, Kenma." He pulled his blanket up higher and let himself drift off.


	6. Chapter 6

"Oikawa? Oikawa, it's time to get up." Kuroo gently shook him awake. He then walked over to where Kenma was curled up on his chair and placed a kiss on his forehead. "You too, sleepyhead." Kenma's eyes opened slowly as he stretched out over the edges of the chair. His hair was sticking out at odd angles and he attempted to comb it down with his fingers as he stood up, grumbling. Kuroo handed a mug of coffee to each boy once they were fully out of their blanket cocoons. Outside the sun was fully over the horizon, but it was still dark due to a heavy cloud cover. Snow was starting to fall in sheets. "We should get going quickly, it looks like it'll be hard to drive in a little while." The three bundled up in sweatshirts and scarves before shuffling down the stairs and out into the winter. 

Once again, the car ride was silent. Nobody knew what to talk about. Even if they did, none of them wanted to be the one to break the emptiness that permeated the frigid air. The landscape outside had lost all trace of the colors that spring and autumn had to offer. Oikawa sat in the backseat and watched it fly past. Everything in the past few days has been dark and devoid of vitality. He was starting to get used to it. This train of thought was paused for a moment, however, when he glanced forward and saw the two sitting in front of him. They were also close to Iwaizumi, so at least he wasn't alone. 

They made their way up to Iwaizumi's room once more and took their seats next to his hospital bed. He still hadn't woken up, but none of them expected him to. Oikawa had his hands placed over Iwaizumi's, staring lovingly at the parts of his face not wrapped in bandages. "When Iwa-chan wakes up," Oikawa thought, "I'll kiss his scars every day. He'll never get the chance to feel self conscious if I have anything to do with it." Oikawa always thought scars were cool, anyway. In the back of his head he didn't even know what was keeping his boyfriend alive, but he didn't allow those thoughts to poison whatever time was left. 

Kuroo reached down and grabbed Kenma's hand that had been hanging at his side. He didn't know what he'd do if it was his boyfriend laying there instead of Oikawa's. Just the thought was enough to make his mind grow hazy with grief. The small boy squeezed his hand in reciprocation, never looking up from where Oikawa had rested his head on the hospital bed. Everything was very serene. Despite the circumstance, the group was very content and enjoying one another's company. That is, until a shrill beep shattered their calm and drained the blood from their faces.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Super short one, but super important hhahahahahaHaha bye

Oikawa's eyes widened and he froze in place with his head on Iwaizumi's bed as nurses rushed into the room. Kuroo and Kenma had to pull him away from the hospital bed and away from Iwaizumi, completely at a loss for what to do. The impossibly loud beep that shredded their eardrums only signaled what they were all afraid to believe. Maybe it was a malfunction! Maybe Iwaizumi was going to be okay! All he needed was to be resuscitated, right? And then after a bit more hospital care, he would wake up! Oikawa could finally give him his gift, in that very hospital room, even! He would never take Iwaizumi for granted even again. Forget romance. But Iwaizumi was barely hanging on to begin with. The trauma was significant. The damage was severe. Even if he was to survive, he would never live quite as easily again. When his caretakers tried to bring him back, they knew their chances were very slim. Oikawa was unable to react. He was frozen in time, watching countless health professionals swarm his boyfriend as he was rushed away from him by frantic Kuroo and Kenma. It would be the last time he saw the love of his life alive. Oikawa was told that Iwaizumi Hajime never regained consciousness once from the time of the crash to the time of his death, but he swore he heard him whisper "Tooru" ever so softly as he was dragged from his hospital room by his arms.


	8. Chapter 8

Iwaizumi Hajime was never very expressive around strangers. He was incredibly loyal and selfless towards his loved ones, and the kind of person everybody felt lucky to have in their lives. 

To Kenma, he was somebody to provide comfort in the event that Oikawa and Kuroo had dragged them to some party and it was getting to be a bit much, but not enough that Kenma wanted to tell his boyfriend. (He would feel bad because Kuroo would immediately insist on going home, no matter how much fun he was having.) Iwaizumi would take him outside and talk to him, or just sit with him and provide a distraction from the endless noise and visual stimulation that came with wherever it was they were at the time so their boyfriends could have fun and not worry themselves sick over anything. 

To Kuroo, Iwaizumi was the kind of friend who he could turn to if he got into an argument with Kenma. He would always remind him how much Kenma loved him and boost Kuroo's self confidence, knowing full well what it was like to have problems believing in one's own worth. Kuroo was never easy on himself when it came to Kenma, no matter how he came across. 

To Oikawa, Iwaizumi was the entire universe and everything within. As children, they were complete opposites, drawn together through volleyball and Oikawa's innocent childhood crush on the other boy. Of course, he never mentioned it and maybe didn't even realize it until they were third years going on graduation. As teenagers, they began to grow a bit more similar, and Iwaizumi was always there to comfort Oikawa after a breakup. He was also there for Oikawa when he came out as bi. Crying and shaking, snot dripping from his red nose, the Aoba Johsai captain came out to his best friend in the safety of his own room before he told anyone else. "I feel like keeping this from you was like lying, and you're the best friend I've ever had. I can't lie to you about anything like that. I'm so sorry, Iwa-chan! Please don't hate me!" Iwaizumi wrapped the sobbing boy in a hug, saying he would never be upset with Oikawa over something so trivial. Of course he didn't hate him. That very same night, Oikawa and Iwaizumi were falling asleep when the latter mumbled "You know what, Tooru?"

"Hm... What, Iwa-chan?"

"I think I'm bi, too. I never gave it a lot of thought until today, but I think I am. Thanks for helping me realize it, I guess."

"So we're bi buddies now!"

"Sure, Tooru. We're bi buddies."

When the two were nearing the time to leave one another for college, it really hit Oikawa that he was going to have to stop seeing Iwaizumi whenever he wanted to (or needed to), maybe forever. He had never cared for a girlfriend or boyfriend in the past as much as he cared for his best friend across the duration of his entire life past toddlerhood. The realization that he was in love with Hajime hit him like a semi truck. He thought he knew what love felt like through his several past relationships, but when he connected the dots about this he saw how stupid he was for being so blind to his own feelings. He pulled Iwaizumi into his room for one last time before they left home and sat in the same spot on his bed where he came out of the closet. If he was going to tell Iwaizumi, he was going to do it properly. In person. 

"H-hajime, I have to fess up about something."

"No 'Iwa-chan'? Are you okay, Tooru?"

"Im very okay! I'm more than okay! That's me, always completely and totally okay!!"

"You sound like you're losing it, o great Captain."

"I promise, Iwa-chan. Just, I hope you won't be upset with me... Remember when I told you I wasn't straight?.."

The conversation ended more than pleasantly. Iwaizumi had known since Oikawa came out that he loved him, and he had an inkling that Oikawa felt the same way. Their relationship lasted perfectly through college, despite it being long distance. The two moved in together as soon as they could possibly manage it, though, because being separated for so long was painful as all hell for them both. Now Oikawa wished they were only in different prefectures. Even in different countries, different planets! Anything that could allow him to have hope of seeing his love one more time.

Now here he was, drowning in condolences, the only life raft in sight being the faces of his family and friends pushing him under. Kuroo and Kenma saw this and let him stay with them during the preparation for the funeral, never bringing the funeral up unless Oikawa did. In his apartment, gathering dust under the tree, was his wrapped gift for Iwaizumi. He would never find out what it was that his boyfriend was to excited to give to him, to ask of him. Oikawa would never know what Iwaizumi would have said to him. Would he have liked it? Kuroo answered this question for the grieving man over and over again. He knew for a fact that it would have turned out exactly the way it would turn out in a work of fiction.

In that dusty apartment, drenched with the smell of stale Christmas cookies, sat a tiny wrapped box under a tiny Christmas tree. Inside it hid an elegant silver engagement ring, unable to sparkle in the darkness.


End file.
